What has been, and continues to be, important to me is to resist framing my stress, depression, frustration, etc. as the problem (tempting though it is). These are the responses of a healthy, fully functioning psyche to a horrible situation. It is *normal* to feel negative emotions in response to a negative events. Relentless positive thinking is unrealistic and, at an extreme, demands a disconnect from reality. Better to stay in the difficult reality, acknowledge the hurt and work through it than pretend everything is fine.